Missing

And just like that everything went dark

Both sides confused and broken

Thinking neither deserves the other

Pushing away instead of listening

One did what they thought best

To keep the peace

To keep their peace 

Yet didn’t talk

The other confused 

No words spoken

Waiting for a chance to figure this out

Told was about respect 

Agreed there was a problem 

Let him go

Felt horrible because of his feelings

Felt worse because today was already hard

Million thoughts I want to convey

Afraid to speak and scares him away 

Somehow I already fucked up

And I just want to understand

What goes through my mind?

How triggering was this?

How can I fix it so it doesn’t happen again?

Why won’t he talk to me?

Why can’t I have the one night I truly needed?

How did I fuck up? 

Why can’t I just be happy?

How do I fix this?

I believed him

I began to trust him

I feel alienated

I feel like I’ve lost something good

So now I’ll weep 

Alone and tired

Missing my mom

Missing him