Throughout my life, I have struggled to understand love in many ways. I know when I feel love for someone, when I see my children and my heart fills with love, when I fall in love with an amazing book, when a piece of art or music moves me to tears. But what I have …
Sudden
This can't be real. You not being here You leaving this world, And not just someone in the background I had to let go You didn't want to listen You didn't want the help You just wanted to do it your way I am so angry You didn't call when you needed help You thought …
My brain
So many thoughts Twirling and spinning Not sure which one to hear Which one to listen to They are all there The ones telling me to mask the pain The ones telling me give in to the impulse The ones telling me to make a call So many others, All yelling at me All trying …
Before you go to sleep tonight
Before you go to sleep tonight Please know you are not alone Even miles away I'm with you Hoping you are getting through Before you go to sleep tonight Please try and clear your mind Overthinking causes pain Twisting reality and hurting more Before you go to sleep tonight Please know I'm not perfect Struggling …
The day I knew
Once upon a time, I never thought there would be a day without youA day when what I wanted did not align with your wantsA day when again someone would say you deserve betterThe healing you gave meThe way your energy felt when we were togetherThe amount of SAFE I felt with youEspecially when you would …
Missing
And just like that everything went dark Both sides confused and broken Thinking neither deserves the other Pushing away instead of listening One did what they thought best To keep the peace To keep their peace Yet didn't talk The other confused No words spoken Waiting for a chance to figure this out Told was …
Not my blood, my family
What makes them my family when they are not blood? Well, I will tell you Because the step dad will be your best friend and get you through every bad moment you have Because road mom will keep you motivated and loved Because each driver makes sure you stay safe and able to still earn …
Just a spark
In the silent of the night As my mind drifts away to a different realm and my body rests That tiny light, In the darkest corner of my mind That stays a fantasy sparks. Flashes of what could be A touch of your skin A breath of yours Just …
In this moment
Why are we allowed to believe in happily ever after? It just is a daydream, A thought that blows in and out Why not happy for right now? Because right now I can smile at my friend Because a hug from someone you Care deeply for happened Because this moment, Right now Makes me happy …
Journal Jan 8 2024
Not too long ago a long time friend of mine looked at me and told me I finally replaced him. His reasoning got me to thinking. He said I have for the last decade we have known each other and tend to have two close guys friends where I may or may not be having …
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